Good relationships are possible but not probable.
In other words, relationships require work and effort on our part to cause them to be what God wants them to be.
(Romans 12:2 NLT) Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Transform – God never just tells you to not do something without desiring to change you from the inside out to give you the ability to change. That is why God is not a God to be understood, He is a God to be experienced.
Four Levels of Communication
- Surface communication.
- General information.
- Deep feelings.
- Deep needs.
Four Barriers to Communication
- False belief.
(Matthew 12:36-37 MSG) “Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. ~George Bernard Shaw
We need to be more intentional in the words that we speak to each other.
Seven types of communication that we all can use:
Find your qualities and I am going to acknowledge them.
(Proverbs 25:11 NKJV) A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Words that are beautiful and valuable.
(Proverbs 18:21 NIV) The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
(Jeremiah 31:3 NLT) “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”
(Ephesians 4:29 NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
I will create an environment where you feel safe…
(Proverbs 15:1) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
- Truth in love.
It’s OK to tell people what is wrong, but you don’t enforce what is wrong. Tell people what is wrong but give them a way out.
(Ephesians 4:15 NLT) We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ…
(Psalm 16:8-9) I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore, my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure.