Part 6
According to the latest census, around 69% of families in America still have traditional two-parent leadership in the home.
It is God’s plan for a home to have a father and mother present but if that is not the case, God can certainly make up the difference in that household.
Psalms 10:14 NIV But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.
Psalms 68:5 NIV A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.
Parents are to build a foundation and then hand that foundation over to their children and then the children are to continue to build on that family name.
Proverbs 1:8 NKJV My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother;
Instruction = discipline
Law = teaching
Verse 8 teaches us that in a general sense that discipline should come from the father and teaching should come from the mother.
This does not mean that fathers cannot teach but it is the primary areas of responsibilities.
Proverbs 1:8-19 NKJV My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; (9) For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck. (10) My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. (11) If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait to shed blood; Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; (12) Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, And whole, like those who go down to the Pit; (13) We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, We shall fill our houses with spoil; (14) Cast in your lot among us, Let us all have one purse”– (15) My son, do not walk in the way with them, Keep your foot from their path; (16) For their feet run to evil, And they make haste to shed blood. (17) Surely, in vain the net is spread In the sight of any bird; (18) But they lie in wait for their own blood, They lurk secretly for their own lives. (19) So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners.
These verses talk about gangs that existed in Bible days.
Children are seeking leadership.
When there is no leadership in the home, children will seek to find it somewhere.
Proverbs 1:8 NKJV My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother;
Notice he did not say “feel” the discipline of your father. This verse indicates to us that for the fathers, most of the discipline will be verbal.
Spanking is correct and should be used but there are verbal hurdles that should be crossed before the paddle comes out.
Proverbs 23:13 NLT Don’t fail to discipline your children. They won’t die if you spank them.
Never discipline a child when YOU are angry.
Discipline is in love as we lay out the boundaries and borders.
Children are asking for the boundaries.
Parents cannot be friends first to their children but leaders; then the friendship can follow.
The husband and the wife form the leadership team in the household.
Proverbs 1:9 NLT What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck.
Discipline and teaching together form an ornament and a chain around that child’s neck and shield against the temptations to run around with the wrong crowd.
Ephesians 6:1-4 NKJV Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (2) “HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER,” which is the first commandment with promise: (3) “THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU AND YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.” (4) And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Training = discipline
Admonition = Teaching
These scriptures line up exactly with Proverbs 1.
Well = “that you may be prosperous” (3 John 2)
Why don’t these commandments say “Honor God?”
Parents are the Word of God to those children until they are old enough to see and understand it on their own.
Parents are an epistle before their children, and all a child has to do is to be obedient to it and the blessings of God begin to flow in their lives.
Ephesians 6:4 NLT Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. This means we push our children to anger and rebellion when we expect them to do things without instructing and showing them what they are to do and giving them guidelines.
Do not only tell your child what to do, show them what to do.
Children are not supposed to be taught by the church… But by the parents and the church is a supplement to what is being taught in the home.
Deuteronomy 6:7 NKJV You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. (Deuteronomy 11:19)
Proverbs 6:20-23 NKJV My son, keep your father’s command, And do not forsake the law of your mother. (21) Bind them continually upon your heart; Tie them around your neck. (22) When you roam, they will lead you; When you sleep, they will keep you; And when you awake, they will speak with you. (23) For the commandment is a lamp, And the law a light; Reproofs of instruction are the way of life,
When our children are younger, all of the instruction and discipline are external but at some point in their lives, the Word will become internal. Then the time will come when it is time for them to leave home.
This is when all of the internal truths become a reality and it will lead them, protect them and talk to them. A disciplined life is a life-long thing.
These are some things we are supposed to teach our children:
The Blessings of Obedience.
Proverbs 3:1-4 NLT My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. (2) If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying. (3) Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. (4) Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.
Guidance from God.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. (6) Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.
Freedom from pride.
Proverbs 3:7 NLT Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
Healing and health.
Proverbs 3:8 NLT Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.
Foundation for prosperity.
Proverbs 3:9-10 NLT Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. (10) Then He will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine.
The knowledge that when God corrects them it is always for their benefit.
Proverbs 3:11-12 NLT My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when He corrects you. (12) For the LORD corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.
Placing highest value on the Word of God daily, brings increased prosperity, long life, promotion, roads of pleasantness, paths of peace, happiness, and a tree of life that can be eaten from every day.
Proverbs 3:13-18 NLT Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. (14) For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. (15) Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. (16) She offers you long life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left. (17) She will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying. (18) Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.
How do we know that God is going to bless us? By knowing he holds nature together.
Proverbs 3:19-20 NLT By wisdom the LORD founded the earth; by understanding He created the heavens. (20) By His knowledge the deep fountains of the earth burst forth, and the dew settles beneath the night sky.
God will bring protection and freedom from fear.
Proverbs 3:23-26 NLT They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble. (24) You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. (25) You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, (26) for the LORD is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.