Matthew 11:28-30 | AMPC (28) Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] (29) Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. [Jer 6:16] (30) For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good–not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.
Jesus is telling us that we do not have to go through this life burdened down with a bunch of baggage. He wants us to take His burden which is light and find rest for our souls.
Let’s look at the Baggage of Unforgiveness:
The Bible has a lot to say about this baggage.
Matthew 18:15-17 | NKJV (15) “Moreover if your brother sins (trespass) against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. (16) But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY WORD MAY BE ESTABLISHED.’ (17) And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
A trespass is not something light but is a serious, grievous offense.
It is serious enough that if it was not repaired, it could mean that the relationship is ended.
There are things that are minor that we should just let go of such as someone did not invite you to go with them to lunch the other day, etc.
Jesus is teaching us that there may be opportunities that you would be justified in ending the relationship.
Jesus gives us this process of dealing with these trespasses and we can then see that Peter began to process and stew over these things.
Matthew 18:21-22 | NKJV (21) Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” (22) Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
Forgiveness is an amazing force for overcoming evil. We need to know how forgiveness works.
Unforgiveness is baggage that will hold you back and open doors for trouble.
Jesus then moves into a parable to help these guys wrap their heads around what He was teaching, and it deserved more than just a passing answer.
Matthew 18:23-24 | NKJV (23) Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. (24) And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
This guy owed the Master what would be equal to about $10,000,000 in today’s money. In other words, Jesus is telling us that there will be people that will do things to us that are so big, they could never pay back or make right the debt that is incurred because of it.
People do not have faith in forgiveness because in our hearts, we somehow believe that people get off the hook for the things that they have done.
Matthew 18:25-27 | NKJV (25) But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. (26) The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ (27) Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
Four Steps in this Process:
- Offense
- Confrontation
- Repentance
- Forgiveness
Matthew 18:28-35 | NKJV (28) “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ (29) So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ (30) And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. (31) So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. (32) Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. (33) Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ (34) And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. (35) “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
How do we deal with the person who wrongs us and refuses to acknowledge their debts?
(None of us can afford to carry the weight of un-forgiveness because it will affect our lives negatively.)
Leviticus 19:17-18 | NLT (17) “Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives. Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin. (18) “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against a fellow Israelite, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.
What does un-forgiveness look like? It is not merely the absence of forgiveness.
Unforgiveness is a desire, sometimes open and other times secret, for revenge. It is the will to retaliate. When you do that, you become a prisoner to that person.
When you become a prisoner to that person, you begin to carry that person around with you everywhere that you go, when you can be moving through life free and light.
When you are doing this, you are getting in God’s way in dealing with them.
Proverbs 24:29 | NKJV (29) Do not say, “I will do to him just as he has done to me; I will render to the man according to his work.”
Romans 2:6 | NKJV (6) (God) who “WILL RENDER TO EACH ONE ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS”:
You may not be seeing this, but don’t think that it won’t happen.
Romans 12:19 | TPT (19) Beloved, don’t be obsessed with taking revenge, but leave that to God’s righteous justice. For the Scriptures say: “If you don’t take justice in your own hands, I will release justice for you,” says the Lord.
When you take it upon yourself, you are trying to do God’s job, when He is the only One who is capable in dealing with those people and the situation.
Vengeance is God’s turf. It is His domain.
When someone breaks the law, the people need to be punished and that is something that is different than what we are talking about here.
We must have faith in forgiveness and believe that sooner or later, their wrong gets dealt with.
Learn to follow God’s example:
Luke 2:14 | NKJV (14) “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”
Forgiveness is for the person who repents and says they are sorry for what they have done but you can extend good will toward someone until they come to that point.
Goodwill is what you hold in your heart until repentance is received.
Learn from God’s example:
- God does not forgive everybody, but He wants to.
- God doesn’t forgive the sins of everyone that is a sinner, but He wants to.
- God cannot pour mercy, grace, forgiveness, and blessing on everyone until they repent but He wants to.
The best way for you to get even is to let God heal your hurt and bring you to a place of blessing in life.