Romans 5:12,15,17 NLT When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. (15) But there is a great difference between Adam’s sin and God’s gracious gift. For the sin of this one man, Adam, brought death to many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and His gift of forgiveness to many through this other Man, Jesus Christ. (17) For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and His gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one Man, Jesus Christ.
Three Types of Parents:
✓ Fear-based Parents
- Fear cannot be the starting point in our role as parents. We are afraid and intimidated as parents so we in turn, pass fear along to our kids.
- Fear-based parenting is the surest way to create intimidated kids.
✓ Performance-based Parents
- Never feeling like you measure up to your parent’s expectations is not a fun home to grow up in if you’re the kid.
✓ Grace-based Parents
- God is parent (Matthew 6 – “Our Father…”)
- God is a God of grace
Ephesians 1:2 NKJV Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Revelation 22:21 NKJV The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.
- Grace does not lower the standards in our homes, it raises them.
- Rules not tempered by grace block relationships with our children and lead to rebellion. On the other hand, relationships without rules don’t result in grace either.
- Grace based parenting is simply treating your kids the way God treats you.
Grace Based Parenting
- Grace-based parents give their kids the freedom to be unique.
Ephesians 2:10 NLT For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.
- Be careful of trying to make moral or biblical issues out of your arbitrary preferences.
- The boundaries that God sets for us have nothing to do with Him but everything to do with us.
- Everything changes when we let God’s grace take over.
- A grace-based parent gives their kids the freedom to be vulnerable.
Colossians 4:6 NIV Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
- Create a home where our kids don’t have to wear a mask.
- Our homes need to be a safe place for our kids to work through all the dangerous and fragile stuff in their lives.
- A grace-based parent gives their kids freedom to be honest.
Hebrews 4:16 NIV Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. (32) Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
- High Control parenting happens when we leverage the strength of our personality against our children’s weaknesses to get them to meet our selfish agenda.
- The best way to make sure they speak respectfully to us is to speak respectfully to them.
- A grace-based parent understands their kids are not perfect.
- Discipline, correction, and boundaries are all forms of grace.
Hebrews 12:5-8 MSG So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children? My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. (6) It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. (7) God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, (8) the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God?
- Home must be a place where disappointments are tolerated and where hurts are endured and where mistakes never mean the end of a relationship.
Jesus gives us the freedom to be unique, vulnerable, honest and to make mistakes.
In order to parent with grace, you must first receive God’s grace for yourself.