Springhill Church

Topic: Love

  • Uncommon – Part 5

    Part 5

    Good relationships are possible but not probable.

    In other words, relationships require work and effort on our part to cause them to be what God wants them to be.

    (Romans 12:2 NLT) Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

    Transform – God never just tells you to not do something without desiring to change you from the inside out to give you the ability to change. That is why God is not a God to be understood, He is a God to be experienced.

    Common Influence

    All areas of life are affected by influence but especially in our relationships.

    In our desire to have influence in the lives of other people through our relationships, we can sometimes set ourselves up to get hurt.

    When we have been hurt in relationships, we will most likely do the following:

    1. I must protect.
    2. I must benefit.
    3. I must control.
    4. I must win.
    People Problems

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    We can see these issues in Jesus’ relationship with Peter.

    • People will disappoint.

    (Matthew 14:31 NLT) … Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

    • People make mistakes.

    (Matthew 16:23 CEV) Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Satan, get away from me! You’re in my way because you think like everyone else and not like God.”

    • People are selfish.

    (Mark 14:37 NIV) “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour?”

    • People might betray.

    (Mark 14:50 NKJV) Then they all forsook Him and fled.

    (Mark 14:71 NIV) He began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this man you’re talking about.”

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    Uncommon Influence

    If we allow what has happened in past relationships to affect how we handle future relationships, we limit or even eliminate our influence in the lives of other people.

    Uncommon influence is believing the best even after the worst has happened.

    (John 21:15-17 NLT) (15) After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love Me more than these? ” “Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “You know I love You.” “Then feed My lambs,” Jesus told him. (16) Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love Me?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “You know I love You.” “Then take care of My sheep,” Jesus said. (17) A third time He asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, You know everything. You know that I love You.” Jesus said, “Then feed My sheep.

    My influence is not determined by my level of success but by my ability to help you succeed.

    1. Focus on the person.

    (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT) Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

    Jesus did not look at Peter as a project but as a person.

    1. Focus on the positive.

    (Ephesians 4:32 NLT) Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

    (Proverbs 17:9 MSG) Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and–good-bye, friend!

    1. Focus on their potential.

    (1 Peter 4:10 NLT) God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts…

    When we focus on the potential in others, God will bring out the potential in us!

    1. Focus on their purpose.

    (Ephesians 2:10 NLT) For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

    If you really believe in the purpose in someone’s life, you will not stand by and let them fail.

    Learn to focus on their purpose and not their performance!

    1. Focus on the process.

    (John 21:19 NLT) …Then Jesus told him, “Follow Me.”

    We have to arrive at the place where when they win, we win.

    That is what Jesus was willing to do for Peter.

    The best way to love someone, is to help them become the best version of who they are.

     

  • Uncommon – Part 4

    Part 4

    (Please Note: In Pastor Brad’s absence, a video of this message by Pastor Chris Hodges at Church of the Highlands was shown. We would like to thank Pastor Chris and Church of the Highlands for making these resources available for use.)

    Good relationships are possible but not probable.

    In other words, relationships require work and effort on our part to cause them to be what God wants them to be.

    (Romans 12:2 NLT) Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

    Transform – God never just tells you to not do something without desiring to change you from the inside out to give you the ability to change. That is why God is not a God to be understood, He is a God to be experienced.

    Four Causes of Conflict:
    1. Poor communication.

    (Psalms 141:3 NKJV) Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.

    (Psalms 141:3 NLT) Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips.

    1. Unfulfilled expectations.

    (James 4:1-2 NIV)  What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?  (2)  You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.

    1. Despising differences.

    (Mark 3:25 NKJV) And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

    1. Sin nature.

    (Romans 3:23 NIV)  for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

    Four Ways to Deal with Conflict
    1. My way.
    2. Your way.
    3. Half way.
    4. God’s way.
    Uncommon Conflict

    (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 5 NIV)  There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…  (5)  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

    There is always a way to handle everything you encounter.

    When the Bible refers to gathering stones, it is a reference to building an altar. You can use those stones to throw at someone or you can use those stones to build an altar.

    (Genesis 31:46 NIV)  He said to his relatives, “Gather some stones.” So they took stones and piled them in a heap, and they ate there by the heap.

    Before you try and resolve any conflict with another person, let God do a work on the inside of you.

    Conflict cannot continue without my participation.

    Biblical thought is this:

    (Galatians 2:20 NKJV) I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

    Kill your own expectations and let God heal your heart!

    1. I will act not react.

    Make some pre-planned decisions before you ever fight.

    • Never put it off.
    • Never call names.
    • Never raise your voice.
    • Never get historical.
    • Never say never or always.
    • Never threaten divorce.

    (Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV)  “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  (27)  and do not give the devil a foothold.

    1. I will focus on the good things in you.

    (Philippians 4:8 NIV)  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

    1. I will apply God’s grace to you.

    (Romans 12:19-21 NIV)  Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  (20)  On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”  (21)  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

    1. I will remember God’s grace to me.

    (1 John 4:8-11 MSG) The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love–so you can’t know him if you don’t love. (9) This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. (10) This is the kind of love we are talking about–not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God. (11) My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other.

  • Uncommon – Part 3

    Part 3

    Good relationships are possible but not probable.

    In other words, relationships require work and effort on our part to cause them to be what God wants them to be.

    (Romans 12:2 NLT) Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

    Transform – God never just tells you to not do something without desiring to change you from the inside out to give you the ability to change. That is why God is not a God to be understood, He is a God to be experienced.

    Four Levels of Communication
    1. Surface communication.
    2. General information.
    3. Deep feelings.
    4. Deep needs.
    Four Barriers to Communication
    1. Withdrawal.
    2. Escalation.
    3. Belittling.
    4. False belief.
    Uncommon Communication

    (Matthew 12:36-37 MSG) “Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”

    The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. ~George Bernard Shaw

    We need to be more intentional in the words that we speak to each other.

    Seven types of communication that we all can use:
    1. Praise.

    Find your qualities and I am going to acknowledge them.

    (Proverbs 25:11 NKJV) A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

    Words that are beautiful and valuable.

    1. Thanksgiving.

    (Proverbs 18:21 NIV) The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

    1. Affection.

    (Jeremiah 31:3 NLT) “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”

    1. Encouragement.

    (Ephesians 4:29 NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

    1. Kindness.

    I will create an environment where you feel safe…

    (Proverbs 15:1) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

    1. Truth in love.

    It’s OK to tell people what is wrong, but you don’t enforce what is wrong. Tell people what is wrong but give them a way out.

    (Ephesians 4:15 NLT) We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ…

    1. Prayer.

    (Psalm 16:8-9) I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore, my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure.

  • Uncommon – Part 2

    Part 2

    Good relationships are possible but not probable.

    In other words, relationships require work and effort on our part to cause them to be what God wants them to be.

    (Romans 12:2 NLT) Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

    Transform – God never just tells you to not do something without desiring to change you from the inside out to give you the ability to change. That is why God is not a God to be understood, He is a God to be experienced.

    The World’s Way:

    1. Find the right person.
    2. Fall in love.
    3. Fix all your hopes and dreams on them.
    4. If failure occurs, repeat steps 1, 2, & 3.

    God’s Way:

    1. Become the right person.
    2. Walk in love.
    3. Fix all your hopes and dreams on God.
    4. If failure occurs, repeat steps 1, 2, & 3.
    Uncommon Commitment

    Most relationships fail because of a lack of commitment. God has an unwavering commitment to you!

    (Hebrews 13:5 AMPC)  “…for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!] [Jos 1:5]

    Take some options off the table in your relationships.

    (Psalms 15:1-4 NLT) A psalm of David. Who may worship in Your sanctuary, LORD? Who may enter Your presence on Your holy hill? (2) Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts. (3) Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friends. (4) Those who despise flagrant sinners, and honor the faithful followers of the LORD, and keep their promises even when it hurts.

    We must be willing to be unhappy for a moment while we work out what is wrong in our relationships. In other words, we make the decision to stick it out.

    Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in left you.

    Example of Blue Angels and commitment to each other. You ignore every other circumstance and stay committed to that other lead plane.

    You only need commitment when you don’t feel like it.

    (Philippians 4:13 NKJV) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

    There is nothing that I cannot do when I do it through Him. Christianity is not learned behavior. He says, “I’ll do it to you first and then empower you to be able to do it. God never intended for you to just do what the Bible says. He wants to come inside you to give you the power to do it.

    Say this: “He did, so I can…”

    1. I commit to prioritize you.

    (1 John 3:16 NIV) This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

    1. I commit to pursue you.

    (Revelation 3:20 NLT)  “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear My voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.

    1. I commit to possess you.

    (1 Peter 2:9 NLT)  …you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession…

    1. I commit to protect you.

    (Psalms 121:7 NIV)  The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;

    1. I commit to purify you.

    (Ephesians 5:25-27 NLT)  For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up His life for her  [26]  to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.  [27]  He did this to present her to Himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

    (Ephesians 5:32 NLT)  This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

     

  • Uncommon – Part 1

    Part 1

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    Uncommon Love

    (Romans 12:1-2 MSG) So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life–your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life–and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. (2) Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

    How many of us know that the world does not have it together where relationships are concerned? Just check out culture and it does not take much to see what their perception of relationships is and that it does not work.

    God wants to set us apart from culture today by the way we love.

    What Does God’s Love Look Like?

    If we are going to understand real love, then we must go to the source of love and that is God Himself.

    (John 3:16 NKJV) For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

    Love is not something we came up with or made up. God so loved, He did something.

    • God’s love is unconditional.

    You cannot qualify for God’s love.

    • God’s love is sacrificial.

    God’s love cost Him greatly.

    • God’s love is personable.

    God’s love is not philosophy, it is a Person found in Jesus.

    • God’s love is acceptable.

    You can actually receive God’s love. Reset the love button by receiving His love.

    • God’s love is accessible.

    God’s love is available to every human being that will simply believe, in spite of background, history, etc.

    (1 John 4:8-12 NLT) But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (9) God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. (10) This is real love–not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (11) Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. (12) No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and His love is brought to full expression in us.

    (1 John 4:16 NLT) We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.

    (1 John 4:19 NLT) We love each other because He loved us first.

    • The secret to walking in love is to first walk in how much He loves you!

    You cannot give what you have not received!

    Your “love walk” will never go beyond your ability to receive the love God has for you.

    • The first step to love is not to step towards them; it is to step towards Him!

    (John 13:34-35 NIV)  “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  (35)  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

    Two things to note about these verses:

    • Walking in love is not a suggestion. It is a commandment.
    • This is the way that the world we know that we are Jesus’ disciples: the way we love one another.
    How Do We Show God’s Uncommon Love?

    (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV)  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  (5)  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  (6)  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  (7)  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  (8)  Love never fails…

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    The secret in showing uncommon love is to show God’s love and not your human selfish love.

    1. Say it. (Say it as much as you can.)
    2. Write it. (Notes mean so much)
    3. Give it. (Small things can mean so much.)
    4. Forgive it. (We are never more like Jesus than when we forgive.)
    5. Live it. (Help me to love the people in my world.)

    Neglected opportunities bring great regrets!

  • Jesus: Faith, Love and the Cross