Topic: Conflict Resolution

  • How To Simplify Your Life – Part 7

    HOW TO SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE – PART – 7
    RESOURCE MANAGEMENT

    Psalms 119:130 NKJV The entrance of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple.

    The dictionary defines simple as not complicated or complex.

    To the degree that our lives are simple or not cluttered and complicated, is the degree that we can receive light and revelation from God.

    The solution to a complicated life is to be a better manage your life.

    The resources of our lives can be categorized in three general areas:

    1. Time Management
    2. Resource Management
    3. Relationship Management

    Resource Management

    There are some truths that we must learn about resource management is:

    • God is not against His people having wealth and blessing in their lives.
    • He does not want wealth and materialism to control or dominate our lives.
    • God has a plan whereby He wants to get His blessing into our lives and we must follow that plan for His highest and best.

    There are some mindsets that we must have so that we manage our resources properly:

    • Our goals and objectives must always be about His objectives.

    Matthew 6:31-33 NKJV “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ (32) For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. (33) But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

    • We are simply managers or stewards of the resources that God puts into our hands.

    Our responsibility is to effectively manage what God entrusts to us so that it multiplies for His glory.

    Luke 16:10 NLT “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.

    • Our main objective in resource management should be to make as many of our resources available for God’s plans in the earth.

    Ephesians 4:28 NLT If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need.

    • God empowers us supernaturally to generate income for us to be a greater blessing in the earth.

    Deuteronomy 8:18 NKJV “And you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day.

    • Tithing is a Biblical, New Testament principle that opens the door for God’s blessing on our resources.

    Malachi 3:10-12 NIV Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. (11) I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the LORD Almighty. (12) “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the LORD Almighty.

    Matthew 23:23 NLT “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law–justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things.

    Hebrews 7:8 NKJV Here mortal men receive tithes, but there he receives them, of whom it is witnessed that he lives.

    • Giving in addition to your tithes to further the work of God is seed that God can bless and bring harvest into our lives.

    2 Corinthians 9:6-12 AMP (6) [Remember] this: he who sows sparingly and grudgingly will also reap sparingly and grudgingly, and he who sows generously [that blessings may come to someone] will also reap generously and with blessings. (7) Let each one [give] as he has made up his own mind and purposed in his heart, not reluctantly or sorrowfully or under compulsion, for God loves (He takes pleasure in, prizes above other things, and is unwilling to abandon or to do without) a cheerful (joyous, “prompt to do it”) giver [whose heart is in his giving]. [Prov. 22:9.] (8) And God is able to make all grace (every favor and earthly blessing) come to you in abundance, so that you may always and under all circumstances and whatever the need be self-sufficient [possessing enough to require no aid or support and furnished in abundance for every good work and charitable donation]. (9) As it is written, He [the benevolent person] scatters abroad; He gives to the poor; His deeds of justice and goodness and kindness and benevolence will go on and endure forever! [Ps. 112:9.] (10) And [God] Who provides seed for the sower and bread for eating will also provide and multiply your [resources for] sowing and increase the fruits of your righteousness [which manifests itself in active goodness, kindness, and charity]. [Isa. 55:10; Hos. 10:12.] (11) Thus you will be enriched in all things and in every way, so that you can be generous, and [your generosity as it is] administered by us will bring forth thanksgiving to God. (12) For the service that the ministering of this fund renders does not only fully supply what is lacking to the saints (God’s people), but it also overflows in many [cries of] thanksgiving to God.

    • A budget is simply a plan of how your money will be allocated and spent.

    Psalms 20:4 NLT May He grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.

    Proverbs 12:5 NLT The plans of the godly are just; the advice of the wicked is treacherous.

    Proverbs 15:22 NLT Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.

    Proverbs 16:3 NLT Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed.

    Proverbs 20:18 NLT Plans succeed through good counsel; don’t go to war without wise advice.

    Luke 14:28 NLT “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?

    • It is not a sin to borrow money, However, it is a sin to fail to pay it back.

    Romans 13:8 NKJV Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

    The word “owe” in the Greek means to fail in duty or an obligation.

    If borrowing was a sin, then why did God tell the Children of Israel to get other people into sin when He said:

    Deuteronomy 28:12 NKJV The LORD will open to you His good treasure, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season, and to bless all the work of your hand. You shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow.

    • It is a sin to overextend or over-obligate yourself through debt.

    Proverbs 22:7 NKJV The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower is servant to the lender.

    Overextending yourself is the same as bondage or enslavement.

  • How To Simplify Your Life – Part 6

    HOW TO SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE – PART 6
    RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT (Cont.)

    Psalms 119:130 NKJV The entrance of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple.

    The solution to a complicated life is to be a better manage your life.

    The resources of our lives can be categorized in three general areas:

    1. Time Management
    2. Resource Management
    3. Relationship Management

    Relationship Management (cont.)

    There are three indicators that there is a relationship problem:

    ✓ Conflict

    ✓ Schism

    ✓ Division

    We have a responsibility to do everything we can correct or restore those relationships (however, sometimes this is not possible because of the will of the other person.)

    Romans 12:18 NLT Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

    Becoming skilled at conflict resolution requires four things:

    ✓ Prayer

    ✓ Forgiveness

    ✓ Communication

    ✓ Negotiation

    ✓ Prayer is what lays the spiritual groundwork for resolving conflict.

    Matthew 5:43-44 NKJV “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ (44) But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,

    ✓ Forgiveness is the next element of restoring a relationship.

    As a believer, we have no choice but to forgive because the Word tells us to.

    Mark 11:25-26 NKJV “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. (26) But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

    Matthew 5:23-24 NLT “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, (24) leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

    ✓  We must seek to open channels of communication.

    Very often this goes directly opposed to our human nature. We have the tendency to give people that have offended us the silent treatment.

    To communicate literally means to exchange information.

    Steven Covey said in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

    There is a difference between good communication and bad communication.

    Ephesians 4:29-32 MSG Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. (30) Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. (31) Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. (32) Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

    ✓ Once communication has been established there can now be negotiation to resolve the conflict.

    1 Corinthians 1:10 NKJV (10) Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.

    Negotiation is the resolution of differences in a way that is acceptable to both parties.

    Compromise – reaching a settlement by each side giving up part of its demands.

    Things to do in preparation for negotiation:

    1. Establish your refusal parameters ahead of time.

    What can you absolutely not compromise in your negotiation. What is it that the Lord has instructed you that you cannot back away from? Scripture?

    1. Establish your points of negotiation ahead of time.

    What do you know that you can give up without violating your refusal parameters or Scripture.

    1. Agree to resolve the conflict.
    2. Identify the principal point of difference.
    3. Make sure that there is effective communication occurring.

    Making Adjustments in Negotiation

    1. Consider the emotional content of the conversation!
    2. Listen intently!

    James 1:19 AMP Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.

    Listen actively! Don’t sit there thinking of your response when you should be listening. Our flesh is usually too busy thinking of our response to listen accurately to everything the other person is saying.

    1. Use the paraphrase principle to make certain that you are hearing someone accurately.

    Use phrases to reiterate to the person what you believe you heard them say such as, “Okay, let me be sure that I’ve heard you right. I understand that you believe that this was said or done… Is that what you said?”

    Paraphrasing forces you to listen to the other person.

    1. Do not engage your tongue before you engage your brain.

    Our responses are usually generated out of emotions and we respond quickly to what has been said before we have intellectually measured the wisdom of saying what has popped into our minds.

    Be sure that what you hear is really what is on the other person’s mind before you answer.

    1. If you feel threatened, what you hear from someone else will be distorted.

    You will not hear what is being said because you are too busy constructing your defense and your self-justification.

    Paraphrasing gives you the opportunity to cool off before you respond out of hurt or anger and say something that you might later regret.

    When you do respond with your view of the problem, stay impersonal so the other person does not take it as an attack on his or her character.

    Once the problem has been identified, you may uncover behavior on your part which has contributed to the point of difference. You may have said or done something which gave an incorrect impression.

    If you are at fault, admit it immediately. Be willing to modify your behavior as long as it does not compromise what God has called you to do.

    1. If you are an intense person by nature, sometimes your intensity can be misinterpreted as anger.

    If this is the case, you can modify your behavior and approach without compromising the message or what God has called you to do.

    1. The last part in the negotiation process, is to reach a settlement which is mutually satisfactory.

    Do not leave any ambiguity in the details of what you have agreed upon.

    Make sure that both parties understand what the new responsibilities are and make sure that there is a standard of accountability which will keep everyone adhering to their responsibilities.