How do I forgive like the Bible Teaches?
Mark 11:23-26 NKJV For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. (24) Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. (25) “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. (26) But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
Notice that Jesus added the necessity for us to forgive others right after He teaches on faith and receiving answers to prayer. That is because they are so closely related to one another.
How does God forgive?
There are three parts to forgiveness:
- The Heart of Forgiveness
- The Act of Forgiveness – make the relationship right
- Restoration of the position in the relationship
Let’s see how God operates in forgiveness:
- When Jesus died for us, He died for all.
Ephesians 4:32 NKJV And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Romans 5:12,18 NLT (12) When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. (18) Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone.
Hebrews 7:27 NIV Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself.
Jesus never again has to die, because the price has been paid once and for all. Based on these Scriptures, it is safe to say that in the heart of God, the price has been paid for all men to be saved and forgiven?
- When Jesus died for us, he paid in full the sin debt that we were incapable of paying.
Colossians 2:13-14 NASB (13) When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, (14) having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.
- So, in the heart of God, we are forgiven but does that mean we are automatically saved? (in a right standing relationship with Him?)
No. We know from what the Bible teaches that this does not happen. (There is a part that God has played and a part we must play)
1 Timothy 2:4 NKJV God… who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
- We must acknowledge the truth that we are sinners, believe what He did for us, repent and then receive the act of His forgiveness.
Acts 3:19 AMPC So repent (change your mind and purpose); turn around and return [to God], that your sins may be erased (blotted out, wiped clean), that times of refreshing (of recovering from the effects of heat, of reviving with fresh air) may come from the presence of the Lord;
Once we repent, believe that Jesus was raised from the dead and make Him the Lord of our lives, we are saved, Born Again and in right relationship with God.
How does God want me to forgive?
Matthew 18:21-35 NLT Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” (22) “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! (23) “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. (24) In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. (25) He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. (26) “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ (27) Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. (28) “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. (29) “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. (30) But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. (31) “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. (32) Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. (33) Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ (34) Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. (35) “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
- In your heart, you begin forgiving by releasing any ill will towards them and wish goodwill to them.
(Luke 2:14 NKJV) “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”
- With a heart of forgiveness, you release that person from owing you a debt to make things right between you.
(Matthew 6:12 NKJV) And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.
BTW: There is no such thing as spiritual amnesia.
- This might be something you do many times; but do it until you have fully released the debt.
(Matthew 18:21-22 NLT) Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” (22) “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
- If and when they come to you and repent, then you extend to them the act of forgiveness and move towards restoring the position of the relationship. (Privileges, Benefits)
How do I know that he has repented? I will be able to see it in their actions.
(Matthew 3:8 NLT) Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.
When someone meets the qualifications in that they acknowledge the truth, repent, and then show the fruits of that repentance, then I MUST show them the act of forgiveness. I must restore our relationship and allow them to move forward in our relationship.
- If they never repent and ask for forgiveness, trust God with the outcome.
Can I hate them? Can I hold malice in my heart towards them? (Malice is the desire to see harm to come to someone because they wronged you.)
(Ephesians 4:31 NKJV) Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
(Romans 12:19 NLT) Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD.
But we must come to a place that we trust that God is the only one that can truly settle the score and we let go of that anger and malice and leave justice up to Him.
We must walk in the attitude of forgiveness towards those people, let go of any anger, malice and bitterness towards them and then leave the payback and justice up to God.
The Law of sowing and reaping applies to sowing wrong towards others just like it does money.
Remember, God always wants to show mercy and it is not our place to determine if He is able to do that and when. We let Him determine what is the best course of action for people.
Galatians 5:6 KJV For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love.
Galatians 5:6 TPT When you’re placed into the Anointed One and joined to him, circumcision and religious obligations can benefit you nothing. All that matters now is living in the faith that is activated and brought to perfection by love.
If there is a terribly evil person who did horrible things throughout life, on their deathbed they accept Christ. Does that erase all of their previous acts and they go to Heaven?
The first thing that has to be asked in this situation would be, were they truly repentant and genuinely sorry for their sins and did they truly realize their need for a Savior in Jesus Christ?
If they were going through some religious act in order to avoid the eternal penalty of the sin, then maybe not.
The truth of the matter is that we have no way to know this. Only God knows what is really going on in a man’s heart.
The other thing that we must remember is that a man is not separated from God eternally because of his sins. He is eternally separated from God because of one sin: the rejection of Jesus Christ.
The multitude of a man’s sins are an out working of the one sin: being separated from God.
We also need to remember that sin is sin. We categorize sin based on our standards of conduct, culture, etc. but God does not look at it that way.
Can Christians drink wine?
The consumption of wine was quite common in ancient Hebrew culture. There are 8 different words in the Hebrew language that refer to wine or strong drink.
This continues to be very common in Jewish culture even today.
Although wine was consumed there was a very strict cultural guideline regarding how much wine was consumed.
In ancient Jewish culture, drunkenness was frowned upon greatly in society and was considered a taboo thing to do. There was great social pressure against it.
It would be similar to the change that we have had in our country in our attitude about smoking. 40 – 50 years ago, smoking was very fashionable and seen in advertisements, on television and in movies. But today it is nowhere what it used to be because of this change of culture. There is an increased pressure on smokers today that was not there years ago.
In Jewish culture, drinking in moderation was acceptable but not intoxication. It was part of the culture.
The following scripture illustrates the attitude of the culture:
1 Samuel 1:12-18 NKJV (12) And it happened, as she continued praying before the LORD, that Eli watched her mouth. (13) Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk. (14) So Eli said to her, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!” (15) But Hannah answered and said, “No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD. (16) Do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman, for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief I have spoken until now.” (17) Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.” (18) And she said, “Let your maidservant find favor in your sight.” So the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.
It was considered an abomination to pray while you were intoxicated.
Over and again drunkenness was condemned in the scriptures.
Proverbs 20:1 NKJV (1) Wine is a mocker, Strong drink is a brawler, And whoever is led astray by it is not wise.
Proverbs 21:17 NKJV (17) He who loves pleasure will be a poor man; He who loves wine and oil will not be rich.
Proverbs 31:4-7 NKJV (4) It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Nor for princes intoxicating drink; (5) Lest they drink and forget the law, And pervert the justice of all the afflicted. (6) Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart. (7) Let him drink and forget his poverty, And remember his misery no more.
You could bring a curse upon yourself for giving someone alcohol and encouraging them to get drunk.
Habakkuk 2:15 NKJV (15) “Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbor, Pressing him to your bottle, Even to make him drunk, That you may look on his nakedness!
The culture we described among the ancient Jews does not exist today in our culture.
In that day, the worst thing that happened in that day when someone became drunk was that they might get into some kind of fight or physically harm themselves by falling or something like that.
Proverbs 23:29-30 NKJV (29) Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaints? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? (30) Those who linger long at the wine, Those who go in search of mixed wine.
The cost of alcoholism and drunkenness today is immeasurable. I would venture to say that there are not too many families that have not been touched by tragedy that comes because someone drove drunk. The toll that it takes is an incredible price.
We live in a different world today. Our cultural norms are different.
Our consumption of alcohol today is totally different because today it is usually not about having one beer to go along with your cheeseburger; especially among young people. For them the goal of alcohol consumption is to see how drunk one can get. “Dude, how wasted am I?”
That is the cultural norm.
When we see people in commercials telling us to drink responsibly, they are not telling you to consume a beer let that be the end of it. The assumption is that you are going to get drunk, so make arrangements ahead of time for a designated driver to get you home.
The believer’s decision in regard to the consumption of alcoholic beverage has to be made with respect to others.
As a Christian, I now have a responsibility to something much greater than myself. I have a responsibility to my church, my community, and my group.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15 NKJV (14) For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; (15) and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.
After we become a Christian and we begin to grow in the things of God, in order to mature we must understand that our lives are no longer about us.
Once we learn this and begin to live our lives as though it is not about us and our needs, God makes sure that it becomes all about you and your needs.
Romans 14:15-17 AMP (15) But if your brother is being pained or his feelings hurt or if he is being injured by what you eat, [then] you are no longer walking in love. [You have ceased to be living and conducting yourself by the standard of love toward him.] Do not let what you eat hurt or cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died! (16) Do not therefore let what seems good to you be considered an evil thing [by someone else]. [In other words, do not give occasion for others to criticize that which is justifiable for you.] (17) [After all] the kingdom of God is not a matter of [getting the] food and drink [one likes], but instead it is righteousness (that state which makes a person acceptable to God) and [heart] peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
I can tell you emphatically that getting drunk is clearly a sin in the scripture.
Galatians 5:19-21 NKJV (19) Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, (20) idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, (21) envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
With clear conscience however, I cannot tell you that it is a sin to have a glass of wine.
It is a matter of personal conscience and conviction as to whether you drink a glass of wine.
But I am to consider my brother and my sister in my consumption of wine. Is it in the best interest of those around me who may be watching my life as an example for me to do that?
Remember, our culture is not like it was in ancient times. Overindulgence is the norm in the culture in which we live.
Alcohol has never been known to lift any society.
1 Corinthians 6:12 NKJV (12) All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
Romans 15:1-6 NIV (1) We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. (2) Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. (3) For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” (4) For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. (5) May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, (6) so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The real question to ask is my moderation drinking worth risking causing someone who may be weak or ignorant to stumble and fall? Do I want to be that selfish as to not even take that into consideration?
Someone may say, “I only drink a glass of wine to take the edge off…”
My response to that is: God never wants you to use anything artificial to “take the edge off” of the pressures of life.
Time and time again we are told to think soberly about different things, God does not want anything to have an effect on your mental faculties because it can affect your power of choice, and He is strongly against that. It is actually a substitute for what God’s has made available for people.
Ephesians 5:18 NKJV (18) And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,
Ephesians 5:18 MSG (18) Don’t drink too much wine. That cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of him.
God’s intent is for the ministry of the Holy Spirit to take the edge off. He wants to be your source of happiness when you need it. (Acts 2:13-15)
When we are filled with the Spirit, we don’t need what alcohol offers to us!! Why go for the substitute when we can have the real thing in excess?